i am pro. over pro

Last week a friend of mine asked me to have a short chat with a contractor she was interested in hiring for a relatively long term “LAMP” (you know; php, mysql etc.) project. And I did have my quick chat with that “i am pro, over pro” guy.

I was trying hard, very very hard to be nice.

And I blurred all the distinctive elements in this chat for privacy reasons.

The Chat (interview)

Gelo: Hello
Me: hi Gelo..
Me: got your message. will get back you very shortly .
Gelo: Hello
Gelo: “Advanced ######### Pro Development”
Gelo: Let me know
Gelo: I will be online your morning
Me: alright Gelo. i’m trying to pack a few projects here. sorry about that . i’ll ping you later. or let me know when you’re avail.
Gelo: now can talk
Me: actually, i won’t take too much of your time.
Me: have a few questions for you.
Me: let’s chat a bit now
Gelo: yes
Me: saw some of your work. brilliant. very nice.
Gelo: Great
Gelo: I did #########
Gelo: 4000 hours during 2 years
Gelo: their best developer closed 9000 hours during 7 years
Gelo: so you should see
Gelo: he left them and I did too
Gelo: Please, check the Employment section at the bottom here #########
Gelo: yesterday php5 test 10/10, but 84% because of pressing “complie” button a few times for a few tasks
Me: i believe ######### told you about what they need on their project
Gelo: No
Gelo: Never
Gelo: ######### developer
Gelo: only
Me: oh. well, bottom line, they need some significant mods on #########.
Me: which will have a lot of db changes.
Me: how’s your db skills ?
Gelo: good
Me: can you type a few things about normalized db’s *without book terms. just what you know about them.
Gelo: I don’t know details. I am technical person. Never read books. Sorry. I know queries to normilize DB, but better to recode table structure if it is bad
Me: k.
Me: any performance optimization things on mysql? ever worked on those ?
Me: cached queries etc?
Gelo: No, but if you need – will be happy to start
Me: i’m sure you’ll get to those if need be. one would never touch any of those, until some project gets super slow and you start looking into those.
Me: i’m not familiar with ######### code, or anything around it, so i can’t talk to you about it.
Me: but i’d like to know your MVC design patterns experience
Me: does ######### use MVC?
Gelo: MVC.. No
Me: so it’s more functional ?
Me: instead of object oriented
Gelo: built on functions only
Me: bummer, but oh well. it was developed a long time ago, right ?
Gelo: functions is low level
Me: since you’re familiar with php5, can you please tell me abotu “function overriding” in php ?
Gelo: they will not do classes, I tink
Gelo: functions must be faster
Gelo: no
Gelo: cannot
Gelo: Please, learn php.net
Gelo: I am not an online book
Gelo: I am ready for single jobs
Gelo: I was never reading books, sorry
Me: you may consider this an interview for a quite a long term project for #########.
Gelo: I am not ready for intereview
Gelo: I am ready for test
Me: it’s not about reading books Gelo.
Gelo: Give me tasks
Me: anyways, i think your technical skills are very strong.
Gelo: and see
Gelo: You will not talk with me
Gelo: You will give me job
Gelo: I will do it
Gelo: we will not talk
Gelo: it is easy
Gelo: I can handle not only #########
Me: it’s not my job to give you the job. i’ll only provide feedback to ######### people .

Gelo: if I have a lot of letters in my mind – it does not mean that I can talk about everything You should see if you are a developer too
Me: they’re already thinking highly of you, but it’s their decision to make. they just asked me to have a quick chat with you
Gelo: I can check php.net and say what this function mean
Gelo: I have it somewhere deep in mind only

(it gets better … keep on reading)

Me: totally hear you. i’m a developer too. i lead the Mambo CMS project for sometime
Gelo: good
Gelo: I see – overriding is a different method
Me: it was a trick question.
Gelo: Anyway I did not made it…
Me: ever did “autoloaders” in PHP ?
Gelo: no
Gelo: Any task – will do
Me: *some of these are tough interview questions by the way. don’t be discouraged
Me: ok, another one php … when you’re writing class….
Me: you do __contstruct
Gelo: ######### does not use classes
Gelo: I never worked with classes. Only a few times.
Gelo: Always functions
Gelo: even no php functions – default ######### functions
Me: you may need to use some oop in ######### project. and if you took the php test, you should be familiar with the oop stuff.
Gelo: Please, give me test. I am making tasks 5-10 times faster if I will need to finish them fast
Me: oh. well, if that’s how ######### works, my question doesn’t mean much for the project
Gelo: I made php test
Gelo: lol
Gelo: 10/10 from #########
Gelo: there were no class questions
Gelo: I hate classes
Gelo: they are slow
Gelo: and looks stupid
Gelo: functions are fastest way
Gelo: sorry
Me: you’re entitled to your opinion
Gelo: I know nothing about classes
Gelo: only can work with them
Gelo: but cannot talk about them
Me: k
Gelo: yes, sure
Gelo: but I need test
Gelo: You will check me by giving real job
Gelo: not by talking
Me: so, i really need to go now, but i can feel your enthusiasm and technical ability.
Gelo: lol
Gelo: I am pro
Gelo: over pro
Me: i really do. you’re very tenacious
Gelo: you talk like with newbie
Gelo: you see letters only
Gelo: you never saw my work
Gelo: give my work
Gelo: give me task
Gelo: single job
Gelo: for $500
Gelo: for $50 even
Me: i can’t . it’s not my business
Gelo: for $50 I will do in 5 minutes
Gelo: 4000 hours in #########
Me: i will provide my feedback to them, and they will decide. already told you, they think highly of you.
Me: the rest is up to them.
Gelo: you even cannot imagine how much it is during 2 years. Only if you are such pro too
Gelo:
Gelo: All other who are in ######### – they can talk
Gelo: but they don’t work
Gelo: lol
Gelo: you will say to ######### that i know nothing
Gelo: and she will lose who she need
Gelo: i want to talk with she
Gelo: you will say it, right?
Gelo: she don’t need to talk with me
Me: i will tell them you’re a capable, very tenacious programmer.
Gelo: hope it will help them to check me
Me: it’s really their call. not mine.
Me: actually, i’d like to ask you a few other things..
Me: passing parameters in functions in php…
Me: php 5, per se..
Me: would you rather pass by reference, or value ?
Gelo: reference may be
Gelo: but use value
Me: explain please?
Gelo: when reference seems it will work faster
Gelo: may be
Me: and how do you pass a function parm by reference..
Me: can you write a function signature that gets a param by ref ?
Gelo: &$parm
Me: yep
Me: ok, another question on ajax.
Me: you’ve dealt with ajax stuff, right ?
Gelo: yes
Me: any preferred javascript libs ?
Gelo: xajax was before
Gelo: but now do from blank list
Gelo: think easier
Gelo: and faster
Me: blank list?
Gelo: not using libs
Me: ajax without libs ? how do you maintain cross browser functionality ?
Gelo: lol
Gelo: how they do?
Gelo: in the same way I do
Gelo: this is not css
Me: if (msxml) else if (bla)….
Gelo: js is easy
Gelo: there are a lot of functions in we
Gelo: b
Gelo: google help
Gelo: if any questions
Gelo: it was 2 years ago
Me: does ######### use any js libs ? like jquery, mootools , yui ?
Gelo: now basic functions already somewhere on my PC and not in one place
Gelo: easy to find
Gelo: jquery
Me: cool.
Me: alright Gelo. i really must go now.
Me: good luck to you, and wishing you well.
Gelo: lol
Gelo: you are not good person to talk with
Gelo: like when not talk.. but do
Gelo: hate talk
Gelo: only work
Me: you’re entitled to your opinion, once again.
Me: have a great day.
Gelo: have a good night
Gelo: my opinion is already made $250.000
Gelo:
Me: good for you
Gelo: want more

Conclusion

Priceless.

He left me speechless with his professionalism – actually over professionalism – and technical capacity.